"The Apparition" Review

"The Apparition" begins with a couple who is haunted by an entity that is conjured during a college experiment. The college experiment goes wrong and one of the people involved goes missing. This movie stars Ashley Greene as the slightly naive, but supportive girlfriend named Kelly who's boyfriend Ben (played by Sebastian Stan) was involved in the original experiment. He had never told her until things went from bad to worse. His friend Patrick (played by Tom Felton), comes into the picture as the proprietor of the experiment and tries to help as much as he can since he is also haunted by this entity.

Now, I am a huge horror movie fan. Especially when it comes to ghosts, and from the trailer I was expecting it to be a very good movie, but I changed my mind halfway through. The movie was slow and predictable, along with somewhat cheesy writing and (even though I do love this woman as an actress) Ashley Greene's acting was almost as bad as the movie itself. I found myself extremely bored even at the movie's "scariest" parts.

When you watch the trailer you expect an excellent example of an excellently written horror movie, but all of the best parts were in the trailer which left nothing else to the imagination. My boy friend even said the best part of the movie was Ashley Greene in a neglige, and to be honest, I would have to agree with him. Sebastian Stan's acting was much better, and I'll admit I am a huge fan from when he starred in "The Covenant." Tom Felton's acting was also on the same level, but I have to admit I liked him since he co-starred in the Harry Potter films.

There were some things about this movie I liked, but that was few and far between. And to avoid spoilers I won't go into any detail about them. Really though, if you want a terrifying movie that will have you jumping, screaming, and sitting on the edge of your seat this is not the movie for you. To be completely honest, I was yawning through the whole thing, and walked out very disappointed.

"Ted" Review

I went and saw "Ted" last night and I have to tell you guys I could not stop laughing. Every moment there was a smart ass comment by either Ted, the commenter, or Mark Wahlberg's character John. This movie has come from the mind of the creator of some of the shows we have come to love like "Family Guy" and "American Dad." Which, I can honestly say, I would watch all the time if I had cable.

This movie starts off with a wish made by a young John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg), who makes a Christmas wish for his teddy bear to come to life so they could be friends forever. Upon waking the next morning he finds is teddy bear is alive. He than names him Ted (Seth Macfarlane). The next time we see these two they are all grown up and still together. Hilariously smoking weed on the couch watching "Flash Gordon." I couldn't stop laughing while the bear was saying how weak it was and that he needed to call his buyer while John was already high off of a few hits.

Lori Collins (Mila Kunis) is John's girlfriend whom he has been dating for four years. It is apparent to begin with that she really needs John to make a change. Mostly to grow up and  stop depending on his bear for companionship. She then gives him an ultimatum to either get rid of Ted, or she goes. I was definitely taken aback by the scene of Ted fornicating with a girl who works at the local grocery store and I quickly recovered enough to let out a loud chuckle.

Pretty much every aspect of this movie was absolutely ridiculous considering it's hard to take a teddy bear smoking weed, partying, and with the mouth of a sailor seriously even when it's in a very serious situation. But this movie was in no way stupid. It was funny. Very funny.

Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis did a great job as always and Seth Macfarlane is a great writer and voice actor. The thing I love about it is that it makes fun of everyone. Not just a set group, which is what I think i appreciate most from his shows. If you want non-stop laughs this is definitely the movie to see and when it comes out on DVD I will definitely be adding it to my collection.

"Total Recall" Review

I will start my review of the new "Total Recall" by saying this. This is a new brand of Arnold Schwarzenegger remake. Basically meaning, a brand new animal that is almost nothing like the original, but nonetheless, any die hard "Total Recall" fan will still love this movie. Which is basically exactly what my significant other told me about halfway through the movie.

It stars Colin Ferrall as Doug Quaid who his married to a woman named Lori played by the gorgeous Kate Beckinsale. Doug is troubled by horrible dreams of his capture which, according to memory, has never happened. The dream is always the same and he is always accompanied by the same woman. He visits Rekall, a spa-like atmosphere where any memory you want will be booted directly into your brain, unless this memory is already there. He begins to suspect he is a spy when he is checked for the memory and it is already there and locked away, changing everything. On the run from the authorities he runs into the woman from his dreams, Melina, played by Jessica Biel.

Like I said, this is absolutely almost nothing like it's original counterpart. While the basic premise of the movie is exactly the same, so many aspects of it are completely different. For instance, besides the three breasted woman from what I can best describe from The Colony's "red light district" there are no mutants and we aren't given any hints as to her origin. The action is non-stop and leaves you on the edge of your seat.

Honestly, I have never seen the original, but I took the time to check out at least the preview for it and this is how I figured out how different the two movies actually were. The remake is geared more a 21st century audience, not lending much to its origins. I was even half expecting a cameo from the Governator himself, but seeing as he's still governor of California that wasn't going to happen. I can definitely say I was very happy to see Bryan Cranston as Cohaagen and Bill Nighy as Mathias.

The graphics and technologies in this film were amazing and the writing was so much better then the original. For me, the most fascinating part of it was "The Fall." It was the transport system between The Colony (Australia) and The Federation of Britain that went all the way through the Earth.

I will definitely say this, Ferrall, Biel, and Beckinsale did not dissapoint. I can definitely tell you though that ever since Kate Beckinsale has been in the "Underworld" movies it's hard for me to see her any other way and we kept making "Underworld" references. As always, these three actor's performance was fantastic.

I will go ahead and repeat what I originally said about it. Any die hard "Total Recall" fans will love it no matter how different it is from the original. Anyone who loves a post-apocalyptic sci-fi action/thriller will love this movie, which is why I guess I have become a huge fan.

"Sucker Punch" Review

Yes, I am aware this movie has been out for a year, but it is one of my absolute favorites and I figured why not let everyone know what I think of it. It begins with a young girl and her sister, whose mother has just passed away. We don't know how she died. They're mother leaves them everything she has in her will, leaving their abusive step father with nothing. In his attempt to kill them both, Babydoll (Emily Browning), the older sister, accidentally shoots her little sister, killing her instantly. Her step father brings her to a mental hospital where Babydoll envisions a plan to escape, while her therapist Dr. Vera Groski helps her to survive and to fight back from her pain.

This cast is made up of a mixed group of characters. Sweet Pea (Abbie Cornish), the one who is protective of her sister Rocket (Jena Malone) and is skeptical of Babydoll and her escape plan. Rocket instantly accepts her into the group. The other girls who are a part of this plan of escape are Blondie (Vanessa Hudgens) and Amber (Jamie Chung).

I've heard some people say they think that the action in this movie was just thrown in there for the sake of having action, but I beg to differ. To me, and I'm sure a lot of other people out there, they could see that this is her attempt to build her own world inside of her mind to cope. Which I thought was pretty obvious. The action scenes are incredible and the girls are thrust into these situations that no one would think five girls could beat.

Fortunately for me I am not the only person in my household that loves this movie. I can even get my two year old nephew to sit down and watch it and he doesn't move the whole time. My one year old nephew loves the music. And I will admit, the soundtrack was also amazing. The special effects were very well put together and the writing was impeccable. I don't think this movie could've been done any better.

When I watched this I couldn't help but think I wished I had some of their outfits and weaponry. A few of the girls even reminded me of myself in some way, which I think is very important in a story. I think everyone should be able to see some part of themselves in the characters and be able to relate. These girls each had very different personalities that I felt represent the many facets of a single person that you can't help but relate to all of the characters in some way. The action scenes were very well choreographed and I envied a lot of their moves.

There wasn't a single thing I hated about this movie, but I do know a few that said it was "stupid." Now, when I hear that I can't help but think that when people watch a movie with this much depth that they are actually watching the movie as it was intended. You actually have to think and be in this fight with the girls in your mind to full understand it and I think some personal experience in when it comes to envisioning your own world where anything is possible to help you cope with life is important to being able to love this movie and fully understand what it all means.

"Zombie Strippers" Review

 I know I promised everyone a review on "Ted" last weekend, but illness kept me at home. So, please don't hold that against me.

I watched this a week and a half ago. but decided I really wanted to share my thoughts on "Zombie Strippers." Yes, it's a B-flick, but I really enjoyed it. A company starts working on a re-animation chemo-virus in a small town in Nebraska, The virus leaks and ends up in an underground strip club own by Ian, played by Robert Englund. The virus spreads, turning the strippers into "Super Zombie Strippers." Their main attraction Kat, played by famous porn star Jenna Jameson, is the first to be turned and strippers that are zombies turn into the new "fad." Her fellow strippers struggle on whether or not to conform to this fad.

Yes, like I said, this is a complete B-flick and is not a movie to be taken seriously. It had me laughing at some of the more cheesy moments and definitely loving the concept. And yeah, a porn star in an actual movie sounds like a bad idea, but Jenna Jameson did a great job at playing the stripper with an attitude. Robert Englund's character Ian os obviously an extreme germaphobe and is always carrying around a can of what I can best guess is an antibacterial spray that he just has to spray when someone comes near him or touches him. Especially his beloved stripper gang who he exploits when the zombie virus is spreading amongst them.

For this being a B-movie I was actually surprised by the special effects work. It was remarkable for being a low-budget film. The writing is a little cheesy in some areas, but what do you expect in a movie like this? I know I was expecting to hate it considering most low-budget films I've watched I hated, but I actually enjoyed it. This is definitely worth a sit down and if you have a boyfriend or husband who frequents strip clubs and isn't home much because of this then you should definitely sit him down to watch this. Than maybe he'll think twice about going into the champagne room.